Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Time for another confession...

I know, you're probably thinking what is wrong with her now....right?! Well here it is, I confess I am scared of birds! Yep, I am! I didn't really realize this until today though and here is how I found out.

So we moved. (what does this have to do with birds you ask?) Well, we moved across from a nature preserve and there are LOTS of birds. At first I thought, ahhh how wonderful, listen to the little birdies chirping, and I would look out my window and see them in the trees and flying around the flowers and again I thought, how wonderful.

Well... today, they're not so wonderful.

So, my Mom and Dad have been here visiting/working/un-packing/cleaning/crafting and so on this past week and today was the day that they had decided that they had had enough of us (just kidding mom and dad) and they were ready to head back home. So, Dad was going in and out of the house loading up the car for their road trip back home when suddenly Dad says "Hey, there's a bird in here!" Ha Ha, very funny dad...good joke and then I look up and low and behold there is this little bird flying like a mad animal around my living room/ dining room area! My first thought was Oh no, he's going to poop in my house! Then my second thought was "Oh no, birds carry diseases and now we're all going to get bird flu! (I know it's sad, I wasn't concerned at that moment the poor little bird might be scared or that he might get hurt...hmmm) Anyway, so then I believe my Dad said something like "Well, we'll see you Melanie, good luck with the bird" To which I replied, "Don't even think about leaving until you get this bird out of here" Then my dad gets a broom and gently tries to guide the bird out the front door. This of course is scaring the poor little thing to death and now he is darting from living room window to dining room window frantically looking for a way to escape the crazed mad man with a broom. (All the while Mom is laughing hysterically and I am nervously giggling while really worrying about all the bird poop that I am going to have clean up). Well now the bird decides that it's going to try a new escape route and off he heads UPSTAIRS! At this point I may have been hyperventilating at the thought of the bird pooping on my bed and I retired outside for a bit of fresh air. Austin kept going up stairs and then back down to me with updates on the bird. Thank you Austin. Finally Mom comes down and informs me that the bird might be a little hurt (I know what you're thinking....those mean, bird hating people....)Well Dad scoops the scared/possibly hurt little bird into a blanket and brings him outside to what we think may be his final resting place and my heart hurts for the poor little bird...if only he hadn't made the bad decision to fly in my house, he would be off flying over the creek eating worms or something. I can't bring myself to look at the little fella, so I say "Mom, what's the bird doing?" to which she replies "just laying there" I say "We can't just leave him there, maybe Dad should take him across the street to a nice shady spot so that he can die in peace" So we convince Dad to do just that. Dad puts on his gloves and prepares to scoop up the poor, hurt, dying little bird and at that moment, the bird must have seen the crazed, broom wielding madman coming for him so he gets up and flies away into the trees (unscathed) to tell his other little birdie friends about the worst day of his life when his whole life flashed before his eyes and I was left to go inside and clean bird poop off of my wall and couches....I am thinking it may be time to get a new couch for the living room, what do you think? Brett.......

So there you have it! I am now officially afraid of birds!

8 fabulous comments:

Tami said...

Now you have me scared of birds! Faking injury?! I didn't know they were so wise. Hopefully he did tell his friends about the horror of your house, and they will all stay away! That is a pretty hilarious story though. And it really pooped in your house? That's not so funny...stinks, actually... :)

Tracy said...

haha! I am sorry, but I laughed all the while reading that post. lol! sorry for your traumatic experience, but it was a good story. :) PS - I am free thursday and friday afternoons (13th, 14th)...but I won't be here next week. :)

Lauren said...

OMGsh...hahahahahaa ;) I'm so sorry for your crazy experience...I have always had a fear of birds pooping on my head if they're flying overhead...

Andrea said...

All I can say is Karma! Now you can join me in my fear of feathered creatures. Darn Rooster!

Melanie said...

Whatever Annie...that was your own fault for tripping over that darn rooster! As a matter of fact, someone just told me that if a bird flies in your house, then that means good luck! See, I'm a lucky girl!

becky said...

From your broom wielding madman. How dare that bird think he could come into your home. He got what was coming to him. I am glad though...that he was able to get up and fly away. So long little birdie. Have a nice life! Whew! And...Thanks to you Melanie for your courageous support and backup. It was so nice to finally walk out the front door with the bird and see you and Mom hiding in the front yard. Love you!! Dad

Ali said...

That is such a funny story, I was laughing as I was reading it. Only wish you had got it on camera, that is America's Funniest Home Videos quality!

The Whitney News said...

Melanie! I would be scared too! In fact, in Flagstaff, a bird flew down our chimney and into the stove fireplace, and the only way to free it, was to open the fireplace door and hope it would fly to the open backyard door. Of course it didn't, and was flying around the family room franitically, bumping into walls and ceilings and leaving soot everywhere! My mom wass sooo mad! She had to go clean up all the marks it left!